Understanding My Father - Part V

The Broken 10 Commandments

~ Pastor Breaks Eight of the Ten Commandments

In this part, you are going to look at how my father, a retired banker, now embracing Christianity to such an extent that from being a part-time pastor has now become a full-time pastor, has broken 8 of the 10 commandments given to Moses. I have counted 8 to this very day, not too sure when his borderline psychosis is going to make him break the first two commandments as well.

Broken Commandment 1 ~ Do Not Take The Name of Thy God In Vain

As you may well be aware this is the third of the 10 commandments given by Prophet Moses. Wondering how my father has broken this commandment? Well, every time he lies, he swears upon the name of God, the son and the Holy Ghost. This he does with absolutely no qualm whatsoever. He has now gone to the extent of verbally abusing his own mother and makes her swear upon the Holy Ghost. If the father, son and the Holy Ghost are one through the trinity, then doesn’t swearing upon either one of them actually break the commandment of “taking thy God’s name in vain”? His latest trend in taking such a name in vain is by abusing everyone verbally and in two seconds calls out to Jesus Christ or God the father! The mouth that uses filthy language also preaches and calls to GOD!

Broken Commandment 2 ~ Keep The Sabbath Day Holy

This particular commandment has been broken only over the past few years, totaling not more than 6 or 7 years. On the Holy Day of Sunday (according to Christians) one is expected not to think, do or even speak evil as much as possible. For my father, this particular day is no different from any other day. He would go to church with a filthy mind, give an equally filthy sermon, come back home and use filthy language. Hence, the second commandment has also been broken successfully.

Broken Commandment 3 ~ Honor Thy Father and The Mother

Thankfully this commandment could not be broken with his father, since the good old Mr. Samuel passed away when I was 2. Sadly, my father’s mother, Ms. Clara Samuel is still alive thus giving my father an opportunity to break the 5^th commandment. Y’all need to understand that my gran pushed 90 two years ago, is quite feeble and senile. In many ways she reminds of a sweet, little innocent child who has comprehension issues due to ones level of understanding another’s speech. At this age, my gran has been cursed to be taken care by my father who abuses her every single waking day of her sad life. He curses her and keeps telling her to die so that his problems would end soon, he asks her if she was born to one man, he asks her if she is a bastard and on to top of such abuse my living father tells his living mother that she is a prostitute (translated from Tamil, hence can’t afford to be politically correct).

Broken Commandment 4 ~ Thou Shall Not Murder

Before my father became a banker / part-time pastor he was with one of the local political parties which had and still has the most influence within the state and at the center. Being at the centre of such a party my father claims that he was the one who took care of all the dirty work for this party. One day I overheard my father telling someone over the phone that he is the only person who knows where people who suddenly vanished during this party’s rule have been buried. I do not know if such a passing comment was meant to instill fear in the heart of the person on the other end of the phone line, in my heart or did he actually mean what he said. If I have to take this particular statement of his by its face value, then I could bet my life in saying that my father has successfully broken the sixth commandment.

Well even if this far-fetched claim of his ain’t true, then I believe he has committed the act of murder on many given occasions. In the third part of this multi-part series on my “father” you would have read about the bitch that my father is having an affair with. Well, this bitch’s mother told us that on many occasions my father had taken the bitch to a DNC center to abort their unborn child AKA murder the unborn child. I don’t care what others have to say but to me, this particular act of destroying life in the womb is the worst form of murder, immaterial of whether the child is legitimate or otherwise! Now with the proof that my father has been responsible in killing his own unborn child, I shall say to you that my father successfully has broken the 6^th commandment.

Broken Commandment 5 ~ Thou Shall Not Commit Adultery

By far, “thou shalt not commit adultery” was the easiest of all commandments that my father could break. Proof? The existence of the bitch, his need to constantly have an extra-marital relationship with family members or strangers and the fact that all the members whom he has tried to have an affair with are living testaments to this very day!

Broken Commandment 6 ~ Thou Shall Not Steal

For those of you who are under the impression that only material things can be stolen, then here is food for your thought and perhaps reason enough for a paradigm shift.

• ·        My father has an affair ~ stole my mother’s trust and betrayed the whole family

• ·        My father started having an affair with a girl who just turned 15 ~ stole her innocence and a beautiful life ahead

• ·        My father had made his “affair” undergo abortion on many occasions ~ stole an unborn child’s right to live

• ·        My father lied and still lies about a lot of things ~ stole and keeps stealing our right to truth  and last of all,

• ·        My father physically abused me and mentally tortured me, since I was a child through my adolescence ~ stole my right to a happy childhood.

There it is for you, a person need not necessarily steal material things alone to break the 8^th commandment given to Moses.

Broken Commandment 7 ~ Thou Shall Not Lie

My father suffers from impulsively lying. No, he is not an attorney by profession, but a retired employee of a bank. I was always under the impression that people lie only when they are scared that the truth could get them hurt. In the case of my father, he lies for the joy of it, he lies to ensure that the family does not stay together and most importantly he lies to make certain that situations seem too unbearable that we would have to depend upon him for a “solution”.

Eg. 1

I download a lot of movies, I love to play games on my laptop, I love to write and blog and yes occasionally I watch porn for that instant release. My father does not like the fact that I spend more “quality” time with my laptop than actually spending time listening to the ignorant garbage that comes out of his mouth. Hence, to make certain that I don’t spend much time on my computer, he tells me one morning that a group of cyber-crime people came to our house and made a lot of enquiries and apparently they had told him that they were tracking a lot of porn being downloaded at our house!

C’mon, who are we shitting here. We live in the god forsaken boonies where even the regular cops don’t come around often let alone the cyber-crime division pin-pointing the location of porn download! Moreover doesn’t the cybercrime division track down actual cybercrime???

 Eg. 2

Before I moved back in with my parents, my father always had the need to complain to me about how “out of track” my brother was. One day he was complaining that he has been calling people at random from our home phone and asking them for sexual favors. When I asked how my father knew about it, there was this momentary grunt not expecting the questions and quickly comes back with a retort saying that these people called back abused my father.

Sadly for my father, I removed the home phone unit and totaled it a long time ago. I also told my father that I was the one who broke the phone and there was no possibility that my brother could have done what he is being accused of. Then I asked my dad to shut the ---- up and also told him not to keep incessantly lying about every single thing.

Well, there sure are more such examples that can easily prove that my father, the pastor, broke the 9^th commandment successfully.

Broken Commandment 8 ~ Thou Shall Not Covet

My father coveted

·      His brothers’ wives

·      My mother’s sister

·      Our neighbors’ wives

·      Our women church believers

·      Some one’s innocent fifteen year old daughter and successfully having a relationship with her to this day.

And the list just goes on.

Breaking 8 commandments out of ten – That’s why we have pastors!

Understanding My Father - Part III

Sigmund Freud’s Behavioral Theory Needs Amendment

In the previous part, you would have read Dr. Freud’s behavioral theory where the needs denied during childhood could have an adverse effect in adult behavior. In this part you are going to look at how the consciously denied needs of an adult affects behavior in the later stages….Proof? – My own living father Mr. Kelly Samuel

As you know, my father is fast approaching his 60s, is currently quite obese, unable to see his own toes, very ugly and not to forget that he is retired with a lot of time on hand and an absolutely idle mind!!!

He always reiterates a statement that when he was just approaching 30 he had to live his life according to timetable, that involved only work, mom & me and his so called “ ministry”! His claim is that such a timetable never let him have a social life and his constant transfers with the Indian banking system, had left too little of a personal life and way too much time to have idle thoughts viz a viz. is my wife cheating on me, is my son sucking the man next door, is my wife meeting my family members and updating them on my infidelities, etc.,

In all known manners my father has been a womanizer since time immemorial however; such an action of his does not give him the right to see everyone else in the same light. Though we know that it sure ain’t right to see others in the same light as one’s self, my father doesn’t and would not acknowledge it. He is under the impression that he is infidel and that makes everyone else infidel as well.

Coming back to the point of understanding what happens when an adult consciously suppresses a need… well, such a need is only repressed until that time he or she have more free time.

Well in this case, my father states that he had to fore go a lot of things in life since he had to stick to the timetable of providing for the family. Hence “needs” of his were not unconsciously forgotten. Rather, since it was a conscious effort to forget such needs, it has manifested itself in ways unimaginable.

One of the ways that I would like to coin at this point of time is that he has tried to have sexual relations with almost every woman in the family, especially if they belonged to my mother’s side. He has also tried sleeping with his own brothers’ wives, both of whom retaliated and that made him start looking for variety outside the family.

I could possibly conclude that this particular infidel character is much influenced by the Sagittarius trait that he possesses but it is more convincing if I had to pin it down to behavioral psychology (since Ms Radha from the University’s Psychology department stated that Psychology is a science that can be proved).

So remember, when an adult consciously makes an effort to suppress a need or a want, it only lays low in the conscious mind. When there is a lot of idle time for such a mind, it mills over what it had missed for so long and finds ways to re-live it.

In the case of my father, he had to suppress the need to fulfill the desires of his loin owing to reasons like the family, society and not to forget religion. Such a suppression has now led him to go against the family (the one for which he had lived life in accordance to a timetable) by sleeping with an underage girl with whom he has now successfully maintained a relationship for the past 10 years, go against the society by not giving a damn what it has to think or say and most importantly go against his own religion by violating one of the ten commandments…thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s wife.

Understanding My father - Part II

Me Being Gay – Sigmund Freud’s Behavioral Theory Proved

 

I AM SO FRIGGIN’ GAY and I AM SO VERY LOVING IT

Thank you GOD for creating me thus,

Thank you dad for sowing your seeds,

Thank you Dr. Freud for helping me understand and

Most importantly, Thank you Mrs. Thomas for teaching me how to read and think…without you, all of this wouldn’t have been possible.

 

Though this particular multi-part series is dedicated to my father, I had a passing thought that it would be much more enjoyable to you, my lovely readers if I had to confess a bit. What’s life without a bit of gossip hey?

Well, instead of letting you imagine too many great things about my ever so simple life, I thought I could tell you a bit about myself and how I am proud of my father for having denied things in my childhood that has led me to being gay.

There are many scientists who have various theories on us, “gay folk” or in the words of my father “the degenerate homosexuals”. There was one lady doctor who proved that the size of a gay man’s hypothalamus is half the size of that of a “straight” man’s while another proved that it was the result of the societal influence that led us to being gay.

While there was one other scientist who proved that choice lets me “lead such a life” (I really wonder if a person would choose to live in a country that is so homophobic, constantly be on the search for that elusive “soul-mate” and in the meantime getting burnt by every single fling AKA relationships…perhaps that last “scientist” would have to rethink his theory on how one would willingly choose to live in persecution, discrimination and possibly on the receiving end for anything that goes wrong in the society), I am more inclined to look at the genetic hand-down through the mother’s genes coupled with the subconscious-suppression of childhood need.

For those of you who are not certain about what it is that I am blabbering, then let me make it simple for you. I AM GAY AND AM SO VERY PROUD OF IT.

As I believe in the words of the wonderful scientist who studied the size of the hypothalamus, I thank GOD with all my heart for having created me GAY. Dear GOD, I couldn’t have done it without you….thank you so very much for having made me the way I am and I pray that I am made just the same way for the n number of time you wish to reincarnate me.

Since I also believe in the suppression of childhood wants affecting adult behavior, I thank Dr. Sigmund Freud for having understood the concept and putting it out there for us to understand ourselves.

Sigmund Freud stated that when a child is consciously denied a particular want, which later is manifested into a subconscious denial, such a want does not vanish completely, rather it is reflected in the behavior once it grows up to be an adult.

My father denied the most important things that I, as a child, could crave for …that fatherly love, care, a tiny little embrace to transfer the warmth and make me feel secure that everything is alright and everything will be.

 Since the time I remembered and retained a lot of things in my memory, I never had felt either of the above mentioned items. Rather they were all replaced with fear, fear and more fear.

This led me to finding the fatherly love in the most unlikely places and from the most unlikely candidates who took sexual advantage of my teeny li’l body (at the age of three. Yes I was teeny back then and none the better now).

I looked for care and embrace amongst uncles who were more interested in making love to my throat. I looked for that sense of false security in that hairy embrace of strangers who left a void that could never be filled.

After all this, the only impression that each and every one of them left in my mind was that I had to “service” them for them to make me feel secure!!! Well such a “security” lasted exactly for “ELEVEN Minutes” and then they dressed in a hurry before my aunts or their wives could return back home!!!

Yes, I was naïve to think that such encounters would give me the sense of security but at the age of three to seven, aren’t we all meant to be naïve and not be exposed to sex so early???

Hence, life as I have known it has been a fun run. If you haven’t understood a word that I have said so long, then all I can say to you is J and for all of you that have understood every single word that is stated here……LOVE Y’ALL.